


#16: food poisoning

by metal_fruit



Series: bad things happen bingo [2]
Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: -gertrude, F/M, elias is stupid and gets sick, god do i have to do everything myself, most likely poison
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:14:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27287734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/metal_fruit/pseuds/metal_fruit
Summary: bad things happen bingo prompt #16: food poisoningelias is stupid™ and gertrude has to do everything god damn im kidding but gertrude has to take care of him
Relationships: Elias Bouchard/Gertrude Robinson
Series: bad things happen bingo [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2189175
Kudos: 4
Collections: Bad Things Happen Bingo





	#16: food poisoning

**Author's Note:**

> what the fuck even is this?

Elias stumbles down two flights of stairs, into the archives and to the door of Gertrude’s office, all while he was coughing up blood. He falls against the door and it swings open, Elias falling into the office on his back. He rolls onto his side as he starts coughing again, drops of blood falling onto the floor and the front of his shirt. Gertrude jumps up out of her chair.

“Oh my God, Elias, wha- are yo- what the hell is going on?”

“Poison,” Elias makes out between coughs that shake his entire body.

“I’m driving you home,” Gertrude says, and picks up her coat, already putting it on. Elias shakes his head.

“No, you don–” He is interrupted by another cough, some blood droplets going as far as landing by Gertrude’s feet. She grimaces and Elias pretends it doesn't sting a little bit. He wipes his mouth and tries to take a breath without coughing. He does, and so he continues. “You don’t need to do that.”

“Well, you can’t drive yourself, you incompetent asshole [boom roasted].” Gertrude says as she turns off her computer.

“Ah, still jealous you didn't get the promotion, I see.” He says with a chuckle, she just glares at him.

“Now is really not the time, Elias.”

“You started it,” Elias mutters before he gets another coughing fit. This time, he actually covers his mouth [thank god, finally, no one wants your germs, good lord]. Gertrude rolls her eyes, walks over to Elias and holds out her hands.

“C’mon, let’s go,” she says. Elias groans and takes her hands, allowing himself to be helped up and leaning against her shoulder as they walk back up the stairs and out of the institute. Gertrude helps him into the backseat of her car where Elias lays down and curls up, not bothering with a seatbelt. As Gertrude starts driving, she casts worried glances at Elias through the rear-view mirror.

“What did you say happened?” Gertrude asks, glancing again at Elias through the mirror.

“Poison. Food poisoning, I think,” He says, coughing. Gertrude doesn't say anything just nods. Elias coughs again and it sounds bad. Really bad. Gertrude tries to cover the concern she feels.

“I swear to God, Elias, if you get blood on my car, I will kill you myself.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Hmm, I think I would. Want to test me?”

“No,” another cough, “I’d rather not today.”

“Tomorrow, then?” 

“If I feel better, I suppose.”

“Wonderful, I look forward to it,” And with that, they fall into a comfortable silence. Elias closes his eyes and tries not to get ~~any more~~ blood in Gertrude’s car.

Gertrude intentionally slams on the breaks when she parks her car. Elias’ head hits the back of her seat, and he falls into the space where his feet would go, in between the front and back seats.

“What the hell?”

“See, Elias, that’s what happens when you don’t put your seatbelt on.” Gertrude says with a smirk. He rolls his eyes and climbs up onto the seat.

“Wait,” Elias says as he looks around, “this isn’t my house.” His eyes land on Gertrude’s, a silent _care to explain?_ She just shakes her head slightly and gets out of the car. The door beside Elias opens and Gertrude pulls him out.

“Yeah, it’s my house,” she says.

“I can see that, but… but why?” Gertrude just shrugs and helps Elias to the door. She unlocks the door and opens it, holding it open with her foot as she helps Elias inside.

“You can take the guest bedroom.” Gertrude says, and Elias stumbles next to her. She catches his elbows before he falls over.

“Sorry,” he says sheepishly.

“It’s fine,” Gertrude says, mostly just to shut him up. She brings Elias into the guest room and he just about collapses on the bed.

“Why am I here, Gertrude? Why couldn't you have brought me to my own house?”

“I don't know where you live. I’ll leave that to you, creepy boss,” Elias groans at that.

“Would you drop it for a day?”

“Drop what?” Gertrude asks, a sly smile on her lips.

“That! Just stop it. Please. I’m very ill, Gertrude, in case you can’t tell, and I don’t have much energy to deal with your bullshit.” Gertrude has a whole comeback planned in her head but decides against it, seeing the state that Elias is in.

He rolls onto his left side, grunts, rolls onto his right side, grunts again, and rolls to his back. He pulls a blanket over himself before kicking it off. He grunts yet again and wipes the sheen of sweat off his face.

“Are you okay?”

“No. I think I’m dying.” Gertrude chokes back a laugh. Elias glares at her as she tries not to smile. She clears her throat and regains her composure. Elias erupts in a fit of coughing, big, racking, shaking, coughs. The kind of coughs that only come out of very, very ill people.

“Seriously, Elias. Are you okay?”

“I am being serious, Gertrude,” he says, rolling onto his side to face her. He pulls his knees up to his chest and wraps his arms around them. “I don’t want to die,” he whispers, and it's all too vulnerable for the time and place. For the person he is.

Gertrude feels an ache in her chest and _does breathing usually hurt this much? She pushes the feeling away as much as she can, but there is a small ache still present. It will become quite familiar in the next few years.  
_

Gertrude clears her throat again.

“Well, let me know if you need anything,” she says, walking to the door.

“Don’t,” Elias says. Gertrude stops, hand on the door handle.

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t go. Please,” He looks up at Gertrude with those eyes. Those eyes, it’s always been the eyes. Gertrude feels that sharp pain again and _this is not a normal way to feel about your coworkers._ That’s something she doesn't want to deal with right now, maybe not ever.

“Goodnight, Elias,” she says, and walks out, leaving the door open just a crack.

Elias does not feel better the next day. When Gertrude walks into the guest room, holding a glass of water, Elias does not look much better, either. He looks quite a lot worse, actually.

“Good morning, Elias.” Gertrude says. Elias just groans. “Have some water,” she says. Elias swats the glass away and it crashes to the floor, breaking into tiny pieces.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” he says, and Gertrude sighs.

“It’s fine,” she says. “C’mon, let’s go, you’ve got an institute to run.”

“I can’t,” he says. his voice barely a whisper. “Everything hurts,”

“The Eye waits for no one. That includes you, Elias,” Gertrude says. Elias squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head. “Let’s go, come on.”

“Gertrude, I really can’t,” he says, “my head is pounding and all my bones ache. Just leave me here.”

“Nope, we’re going,” Gertrude says, pulling Elias up by the shoulders. Once on his feet, he wobbles for a moment before tipping over. Gertrude catches him and swings an arm around his waist. Elias pushes her away and almost falls over in the process. “Come on, Elias, let me help you.” Elias mutters something under his breath and puts his arm over Gertrude’s shoulders. Gertrude puts one arms around his waist, holding him up, and presses the back of her other hand to his forehead. “My God, Elias, you’re burning up,”

“I know,” he says and Gertrude just gets more worried.

“You’re not coughing as much,” Gertrude says, glancing at Elias. He is laying on the back seat again and is breathing softly. He looks almost calm like that. Almost. His face is pale, more pale than he usually is and still far too pale for anyone in good health to be. But it’s very clear that he’s not in good health. He is covered in a thin layer of sweat and he’s shaking, maybe shivering.

“I guess I’ll have to hold off on killing you,” Gertrude says, and the chuckle that comes from Elias turns into a cough. He keeps his eyes closed.

“Are you cold? Or warm, or something, because I can open the windows or get you a blanket or someth–”

“The temperature is fine,” Elias says, not bothering to even open his eyes. 

“Alright, if you’re sure,” she says.

Gertrude doesn't slam on the brakes when she parks outside the institute. Elias mouths thank you, but she wasn’t looking. She gets out and comes around the side of the car, opening the door next to Elias.

“Go to your office, now. Up you go.” She says, once they are inside. Elias nods and somehow _somehow_ walks up the stairs. Gertrude smiles and heads down to the archives.

Elias comes stumbling down the stairs, not even two hours later and lays in the corner of Gertrude’s office for hours on end. She even brings him cups of tea throughout the day.

“Thank you, Gertrude. For everything.” Elias says as he takes a cup of tea. Gertrude suppresses a smile.

“Oh, shut up, you old bastard.”

Elias goes home with Gertrude again that night. She takes care of him and he finds himself going home with her still, even after he isn’t sick anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> again, what the fuck even is this?


End file.
